No sooner do I try to change then old demons and discouragements start their unending monologues in my ear: it's too hard, you're too tired, I don't want to take my meds, what I planned doesn't sound good any more, just accept it- you'll always be this big. As the week wore on, the voices got louder and depression got worse. Prayers were a waste and everything around me reminded me about what I didn't have and that it was my fault. I felt embarrassed for ever posting last week about my good intentions and wished I could go back in time and erase them.
I am a person who has struggled with depression her whole life. I've struggled with weight my whole life, too. The two are inextricably connected for me...so far. With the craziness of returning to school, I have stopped taking my morning meds, which include my anti-depressant. I don't know why I let myself cycle like this. Don't I learn from the past the darkness at comes when I'm off of them; how difficult it is to see the good without them? That being said, today I got a long nap in and talked to my mom- two sure-fire anti-depressants in my world. Then talking with Paul, I re-centered, we sang our nightly hymn, read scriptures, prayed, and all seemed to mellow and re-align a bit. I could recognize the bright spots.
Bright spot- I ate breakfast every day this week. The little grab-and-go egg/mushroom/red pepper/cheese things are delicious and work for my morning schedule. I made them again this evening, so Paul and I are set for the week.
Bright spot- despite my back-to-school lethargy, Pippin and I walked many mornings together, and a couple of afternoons.
Realizations- I'm not ready to eat my bean salad. I only ate it once this week. I need to find a different solution to lunch time.
As I start week two, I need to find ways to silence the inner critic and change the things I believe about myself.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
First Day of School- Day One
Ok- here's the run-down for today.
5:45 walk with Pippin? Check. 1.22 miles
Morning meds? Check
Egg breakfast thingies? Check
Water Intake? Nine glasses
Nut bar snack mid morning? Check
Healthy lunch? Check.
Apple and nut snack in the afternoon? Check
Shorter walk with Pip when I got home ? Check
End of will power and energy? Sigh. Kinda check.
Other afternoon snacks: 6 pieces of licorice, two peanut butter and honey sandwiches, 1/2 cup of cashews. Had two large servings of chicken broccoli casserole for dinner with two pieces of bread and butter.
That afternoon time when I'm tired and have access to food is the kicker for me.
So those are my ups and downs for the day. Tomorrow I gird up my loins and try again.
5:45 walk with Pippin? Check. 1.22 miles
Morning meds? Check
Egg breakfast thingies? Check
Water Intake? Nine glasses
Nut bar snack mid morning? Check
Healthy lunch? Check.
Apple and nut snack in the afternoon? Check
Shorter walk with Pip when I got home ? Check
End of will power and energy? Sigh. Kinda check.
Other afternoon snacks: 6 pieces of licorice, two peanut butter and honey sandwiches, 1/2 cup of cashews. Had two large servings of chicken broccoli casserole for dinner with two pieces of bread and butter.
That afternoon time when I'm tired and have access to food is the kicker for me.
So those are my ups and downs for the day. Tomorrow I gird up my loins and try again.
Monday, September 7, 2015
Reboot
Well, here I am once again...starting over. I had some great conversations lately with some wonderful friends and I felt the seeds of motivation stirring again. Movement is difficult for me and I'm wearing the biggest clothes I've ever worn. However, I have family and friends who are supportive and am facing one of the best work schedules I've had in many, many years. I think I can do this.
So here's my plan.
1. Prepare my breakfasts and lunches ahead of time. Today, I made little egg-based things in muffin tins with ham, mushrooms, red pepper, and cheese in them. They're all in ziplock baggies ready to be grabbed quickly, heated for a minute, and then they're good to go. Made enough for Paul and I for the week, and I'll add a banana to mine. For lunch, when I was on track, I ate this awesome bean salad with red peppers, avocado, corn, tomato, red onion, lime zest & juice, cilantro in it. It sounds good again to me, so I made up a batch and have it divided into six servings, so I can have four and Paul can try it if he'd like to.
2. Bring healthy snacks for in-between breakfast and lunch and lunch and dinner. Morning- this awesome snack bar that is all natural foods and no sugars that I love. For afternoon, an apple and an ounce of nuts.
3. Dinners we have planned out and won't be tempted to just stop for fast food.
4. Water, water, water. I have a fantastic new water mug that I love that will be my new companion. It holds 32 ounces, but I like ice in there, so I'll have to figure out some way of measuring my water intake.
So that's it for the food part of things. I'm not counting calories yet. I'm just trying to keep my body fueled, and to prepare ahead of time to take care of myself.
Ok- now for activity. Like I said before, movement isn't the easiest for me, but I do have good, supportive shoes and I like walking. My plan is to take Pip for a walk in the morning right when I get up and take him for another one immediately when I get home. I've been doing walks with home, but not normally twice a day. I'd like to get a fitbit or garmin or something of that nature towards the end of the week so I can start setting step goals. Any suggestions there would be awesome.
So these are my baby steps for this first week. I'll return and report on Sunday to let you know how they've gone. I have specific numerical long-term goals for my weight, but will post those later when I'm ready. In the meantime, I think I've prepared myself to succeed for this first week back. I'm in a good place mentally and am ready to try again.
So here's my plan.
1. Prepare my breakfasts and lunches ahead of time. Today, I made little egg-based things in muffin tins with ham, mushrooms, red pepper, and cheese in them. They're all in ziplock baggies ready to be grabbed quickly, heated for a minute, and then they're good to go. Made enough for Paul and I for the week, and I'll add a banana to mine. For lunch, when I was on track, I ate this awesome bean salad with red peppers, avocado, corn, tomato, red onion, lime zest & juice, cilantro in it. It sounds good again to me, so I made up a batch and have it divided into six servings, so I can have four and Paul can try it if he'd like to.
2. Bring healthy snacks for in-between breakfast and lunch and lunch and dinner. Morning- this awesome snack bar that is all natural foods and no sugars that I love. For afternoon, an apple and an ounce of nuts.
3. Dinners we have planned out and won't be tempted to just stop for fast food.
4. Water, water, water. I have a fantastic new water mug that I love that will be my new companion. It holds 32 ounces, but I like ice in there, so I'll have to figure out some way of measuring my water intake.
So that's it for the food part of things. I'm not counting calories yet. I'm just trying to keep my body fueled, and to prepare ahead of time to take care of myself.
Ok- now for activity. Like I said before, movement isn't the easiest for me, but I do have good, supportive shoes and I like walking. My plan is to take Pip for a walk in the morning right when I get up and take him for another one immediately when I get home. I've been doing walks with home, but not normally twice a day. I'd like to get a fitbit or garmin or something of that nature towards the end of the week so I can start setting step goals. Any suggestions there would be awesome.
So these are my baby steps for this first week. I'll return and report on Sunday to let you know how they've gone. I have specific numerical long-term goals for my weight, but will post those later when I'm ready. In the meantime, I think I've prepared myself to succeed for this first week back. I'm in a good place mentally and am ready to try again.
Monday, January 13, 2014
2014- Week 2- Monday
While this week has not been perfect, I've made some good progress. I've replaces my non-existent or catch-as-catch-can meals with my healthy ones from before. I've been getting my small meals in during the days of the week and have usually had healthy freezer/crockpot meals at night. I worked out three times and have started wearing my pedometer again.
I'm pulling out of the point system. I'm just not there yet, though those are great goals that I'm going to continue to try to hit.
Here are my goals for this week:
1. 3-4 workouts
2. 8,000 steps/day
3. Continuing with my morning snack of almonds, lunch bean salad, apple/string cheese afternoon snack, and crockpot dinner. Breakfasts have been usually a couple slices of whole wheat toast with organic peanut butter. I also found a recipe for cottage cheese with strawberries and grapenuts that was really good, too.
4. This sounds silly, but stop making brownies in a mug and don't buy any more sweets. This last week, I was craving sweets and because I didn't have any in the house, I started making a brownie in a mug. Needless to say, it's been awesome and awful for me. I need to get sugar out of my system, not find a way to make a decadent dessert in five minutes with the ingredients I will always have here in the house.
Onward and upward!
I'm pulling out of the point system. I'm just not there yet, though those are great goals that I'm going to continue to try to hit.
Here are my goals for this week:
1. 3-4 workouts
2. 8,000 steps/day
3. Continuing with my morning snack of almonds, lunch bean salad, apple/string cheese afternoon snack, and crockpot dinner. Breakfasts have been usually a couple slices of whole wheat toast with organic peanut butter. I also found a recipe for cottage cheese with strawberries and grapenuts that was really good, too.
4. This sounds silly, but stop making brownies in a mug and don't buy any more sweets. This last week, I was craving sweets and because I didn't have any in the house, I started making a brownie in a mug. Needless to say, it's been awesome and awful for me. I need to get sugar out of my system, not find a way to make a decadent dessert in five minutes with the ingredients I will always have here in the house.
Onward and upward!
Monday, January 6, 2014
2014- Week 1- Monday
Well, here I am after a vacation, Thanksgiving, and a Christmas season. I have made some great memories and had wonderful experiences. I think, though, that I worked out twice- maybe three times in the last month and a half, and I know that healthy eating was not a priority for me. My body is now letting me know in no uncertain terms that things need to change. This past week, I've been able to do some preparing. I didn't want to start working out again the same week I started back to school, so last week I got in to the gym three times. I'm glad I did because my body was pretty sore and tired afterward. I made a meal plan for this week, but didn't get to the store for all of it, so I'll need to put everything into place by shopping after work today and then putting together the freezer meals tonight. Also, a friend of mine is doing an accountability healthy-kick start activity. You try to get 15 points/day by meeting certain health goals that you set. Then each week you report back to her and she sends out your progress to the group. Here is what my chart looks like and where I'm focusing over the next 10 weeks.
With church on the later schedule now from 1-4, yesterday when I got home, I ate, talked to mom, and then took a hot bath and read. I was in bed by 7:30. It was awesome. I think this later schedule where I don't get in a Sunday nap will really help me get to bed early and be ready for the week. This morning, I got up at 4:30, took Pippin for a walk, ate a healthier breakfast than I have been eating (2 egg omelette with 1 oz. cheese, tomato, yellow bell pepper; the rest of the yellow bell pepper, and 2 pieces of whole wheat toast with light butter), drank 2 cups of water, walked to Curves for my coaching session, and am ready for the day. My steps are already at 2,621 and it's only 6:30. All in all, a good start.
With church on the later schedule now from 1-4, yesterday when I got home, I ate, talked to mom, and then took a hot bath and read. I was in bed by 7:30. It was awesome. I think this later schedule where I don't get in a Sunday nap will really help me get to bed early and be ready for the week. This morning, I got up at 4:30, took Pippin for a walk, ate a healthier breakfast than I have been eating (2 egg omelette with 1 oz. cheese, tomato, yellow bell pepper; the rest of the yellow bell pepper, and 2 pieces of whole wheat toast with light butter), drank 2 cups of water, walked to Curves for my coaching session, and am ready for the day. My steps are already at 2,621 and it's only 6:30. All in all, a good start.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Week Twelve Friday
Well, today happened.
Breakfast: usual oatmeal/raisin/almond mix.
Then I fell asleep and woke up 10 minutes before Paul and I were leaving for the movies. I was going to finish that other chicken breast and the veggies from last night, but instead I ate a bucket of kettle corn and a hot dog at the movie theatre. Then, after Paul and I went shopping, we stopped at Starbucks for a peppermint hot chocolate.
Afternoon snack: string cheese, 2 pieces bread and butter
Dinner: 6 oz. chicken breast, 2 cups zucchini/squash veggie mix.
Snack at the game: a bag of almonds, dried cranberries, and sunflowers.
When I got home from the football game, I did another one of my rebellious hot chocolates again, but without the caramels this time.
I need to try harder tomorrow.
Oh- I did get my workout in at 5:45 this morning even if it was my day off.
Steps: 8,301
Breakfast: usual oatmeal/raisin/almond mix.
Then I fell asleep and woke up 10 minutes before Paul and I were leaving for the movies. I was going to finish that other chicken breast and the veggies from last night, but instead I ate a bucket of kettle corn and a hot dog at the movie theatre. Then, after Paul and I went shopping, we stopped at Starbucks for a peppermint hot chocolate.
Afternoon snack: string cheese, 2 pieces bread and butter
Dinner: 6 oz. chicken breast, 2 cups zucchini/squash veggie mix.
Snack at the game: a bag of almonds, dried cranberries, and sunflowers.
When I got home from the football game, I did another one of my rebellious hot chocolates again, but without the caramels this time.
I need to try harder tomorrow.
Oh- I did get my workout in at 5:45 this morning even if it was my day off.
Steps: 8,301
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Week Twelve Thursday
Breakfast- 2/3 C oatmeal, 1/4 cup raisins, 1 oz. almonds, cinnamon & nutmeg
Lunch: Chili with 4 saltines
Afternoon snack: 1 light string cheese, 20 peanuts
Dinner: 6 oz. chicken breast with parmesean cheese, 2 cups yummy zucchini/summer squash/ and other yummy seasonings and veggies and cheeses, 2 pieces light wheat bread with butter
Drink cheat: 12 oz. hot chocolate with 2 squares of chocolate and 2 caramels in it.
Steps: 7,839
I was thinking about my eating habits, and realized I was hardly getting any veggies in. Good for me in vitamins and good for me in filling me up. Tonight when I finished with my chicken and veggies and hot chocolate, I didn't want anything else. I was full and satisfied. Yay. :o)
Lunch: Chili with 4 saltines
Afternoon snack: 1 light string cheese, 20 peanuts
Dinner: 6 oz. chicken breast with parmesean cheese, 2 cups yummy zucchini/summer squash/ and other yummy seasonings and veggies and cheeses, 2 pieces light wheat bread with butter
Drink cheat: 12 oz. hot chocolate with 2 squares of chocolate and 2 caramels in it.
Steps: 7,839
I was thinking about my eating habits, and realized I was hardly getting any veggies in. Good for me in vitamins and good for me in filling me up. Tonight when I finished with my chicken and veggies and hot chocolate, I didn't want anything else. I was full and satisfied. Yay. :o)
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Week Twelve Wednesday
Breakfast: 2/3 cup oatmeal, 1/4 cup raisins, 20 peanuts, nutmeg & cinnamon
Morning snack: 1 piece of string cheese, 10 peanuts
Lunch: Taco salad, 4 saltines
Mid-Afternoon snack: 20 peanuts, 1 apple
Dinner: 1 bowl beef/mushroom/carrot stew, 5 pieces of bread and butter, 3 oreo cookies
Evening snack: 3/4 cup honey nut cheerios, 1/8 cup raisins, 1/4 cup milk, 2 TB honey
Physical activity:
Steps: 9294
Worked out after work.
I realize that I'm turning to bread instead of chips and candy. This afternoon and evening I've been missing the candy and chips a lot. sigh.
Morning snack: 1 piece of string cheese, 10 peanuts
Lunch: Taco salad, 4 saltines
Mid-Afternoon snack: 20 peanuts, 1 apple
Dinner: 1 bowl beef/mushroom/carrot stew, 5 pieces of bread and butter, 3 oreo cookies
Evening snack: 3/4 cup honey nut cheerios, 1/8 cup raisins, 1/4 cup milk, 2 TB honey
Physical activity:
Steps: 9294
Worked out after work.
I realize that I'm turning to bread instead of chips and candy. This afternoon and evening I've been missing the candy and chips a lot. sigh.
Week Twelve- Tuesday
So things went really well yesterday, too, with one exception.
For breakfast, I did my 2/3 c oatmeal, 1/4 cup raisins, 1 oz. almonds with nutmeg and cinnamon breakfast again.
For morning snack, I had 1 piece of string cheese and half an oz. of almonds
For lunch, I had chili again with 4 saltines.
For afternoon snack, I had 2 pieces of string cheese and an orange.
I had a dentist appointment at 4 to take off my temporary crown and put on the permanent one. It should have taken 20 minutes. I didn't get out until an hour and a half later. Something was strange with the crown and it wouldn't lock into place. It kept rocking. The dentist decided to work a little on the base it was sitting on and that's when the fireworks went off in my mouth. So about 86 shots later, the tooth was still being touchy, I was frustrated with being a bother, and emotional from the stress it brings back to me (4th grade- eyes closed on a trampoline- fell off- broke front tooth in half- root canal that they couldn't deaden all the way= fear of dental work that I'm trying really hard to overcome).
When I left, I was upset and, to paraphrase Lilo and Stitch, "I'm troubled. I need desserts!" Food is how I deal with stressful situations. If I were a smoker, I would have smoked. If I were a drinker, I would have had a drink. Since I'm Mormon and don't do either- I wanted to eat. I wanted to keep my goal of no candy and no chips. So... oh, man, do I type this? So I got a loaf of Italian bread and ate 2/3 of it on the drive home. I also got dessert for dinner- 4 nanaimo bars, so we each could have 2 but then be done and not have a cake or a pie sitting around in the house.
This experience has made me realize that I've taken away my coping mechanism. When hurt or sad and want to feel better, I eat. I am going to need to find something to replace it with.
For dinner, we had the crockpot taco soup which was delicious. I finished the loaf of Italian bread, and had the 2 nanaimo bars.
Activity-wise, you could tell it was a post-program video recovery day for me and my younger grades, because my grand total of steps was 5,784. I don't remember when they've been that low. I didn't work out or walk Pip. Just didn't have time. I have my workout clothes packed and ready to go so I can stop off on my way home today. Crockpot dinner ready to go. Lunch and breakfast and snacks in hand. Bring on Wednesday.
For breakfast, I did my 2/3 c oatmeal, 1/4 cup raisins, 1 oz. almonds with nutmeg and cinnamon breakfast again.
For morning snack, I had 1 piece of string cheese and half an oz. of almonds
For lunch, I had chili again with 4 saltines.
For afternoon snack, I had 2 pieces of string cheese and an orange.
I had a dentist appointment at 4 to take off my temporary crown and put on the permanent one. It should have taken 20 minutes. I didn't get out until an hour and a half later. Something was strange with the crown and it wouldn't lock into place. It kept rocking. The dentist decided to work a little on the base it was sitting on and that's when the fireworks went off in my mouth. So about 86 shots later, the tooth was still being touchy, I was frustrated with being a bother, and emotional from the stress it brings back to me (4th grade- eyes closed on a trampoline- fell off- broke front tooth in half- root canal that they couldn't deaden all the way= fear of dental work that I'm trying really hard to overcome).
When I left, I was upset and, to paraphrase Lilo and Stitch, "I'm troubled. I need desserts!" Food is how I deal with stressful situations. If I were a smoker, I would have smoked. If I were a drinker, I would have had a drink. Since I'm Mormon and don't do either- I wanted to eat. I wanted to keep my goal of no candy and no chips. So... oh, man, do I type this? So I got a loaf of Italian bread and ate 2/3 of it on the drive home. I also got dessert for dinner- 4 nanaimo bars, so we each could have 2 but then be done and not have a cake or a pie sitting around in the house.
This experience has made me realize that I've taken away my coping mechanism. When hurt or sad and want to feel better, I eat. I am going to need to find something to replace it with.
For dinner, we had the crockpot taco soup which was delicious. I finished the loaf of Italian bread, and had the 2 nanaimo bars.
Activity-wise, you could tell it was a post-program video recovery day for me and my younger grades, because my grand total of steps was 5,784. I don't remember when they've been that low. I didn't work out or walk Pip. Just didn't have time. I have my workout clothes packed and ready to go so I can stop off on my way home today. Crockpot dinner ready to go. Lunch and breakfast and snacks in hand. Bring on Wednesday.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Week Twelve- Monday
Today was awesome.
Breakfast: 3/4 cup oatmeal, 1/4 cup raisins, 1/2 oz almonds
Morning Snack: 1/4 cup cottage cheese, 3/4 oz. almonds
Lunch: chili with cheese
Afternoon Snack: apple, 1 oz. almonds
Dinner: 2 hawaiian chicken fajitas, 2 pieces of bread with butter
Drinks: 4 glasses water, 1 diet 7up, 1 diet A&W root beer
Steps: 11302
Physical Activity:
Walked to and from the gym in the morning for my coaching session and after school for my workout
Took Pip on a walk around the park after school
No chips, No candy even though both are still in the house right now.
Wa and hoo!
Breakfast: 3/4 cup oatmeal, 1/4 cup raisins, 1/2 oz almonds
Morning Snack: 1/4 cup cottage cheese, 3/4 oz. almonds
Lunch: chili with cheese
Afternoon Snack: apple, 1 oz. almonds
Dinner: 2 hawaiian chicken fajitas, 2 pieces of bread with butter
Drinks: 4 glasses water, 1 diet 7up, 1 diet A&W root beer
Steps: 11302
Physical Activity:
Walked to and from the gym in the morning for my coaching session and after school for my workout
Took Pip on a walk around the park after school
No chips, No candy even though both are still in the house right now.
Wa and hoo!
Week Twelve- Disneyland in 10 days
Hi All,
Well, I survived last week and enjoyed a holiday. I didn't workout, keep my goals, eat sensibly much, and I indulged in way too much Halloween candy. However, as Anne of Green Gables would say, "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it." This weekend I had time to actually prepare for this week. Paul was a doll and picked up the groceries for me in between rehearsals and performances. Now I have six crockpot dinners frozen and ready to just be popped in in the mornings. I have time to workout and time to walk Pip. I have time to get my snacks in and read some motivational/why-we-do-what-we-do articles that my fantastic coach printed off for me. Yesterday I ended the day very worried and scared that I wouldn't be able to get back on track and continue making the choices I've started. After my coaching, though, I think that I can. I have 10 days until we leave on vacation. When we go, all bets are off and I'm not worrying about things and am going to just enjoy. However, I'm going to use these 10 days to be super focused. If I look at it as, "I can do anything hard for 10 days," then I think I can do it.
That being said, here are my goals:
1. Blog daily and post to Facebook.
2. Workout three times this week.
3. NO CHIPS
4. NO CANDY. (Now if I make a mini pie or a one-serving cake, that's ok with me. It's the candy that I have no off switch for.)
5. Eat the food I've planned and prepared to eat.
Thanks to those of you who have contacted me to make sure I was doing ok. Part of this whole "going public" thing that I dreaded was failing in such a public way. However, it does motivate me and you all have been so kind and supportive. Thank you for that.
Well, I survived last week and enjoyed a holiday. I didn't workout, keep my goals, eat sensibly much, and I indulged in way too much Halloween candy. However, as Anne of Green Gables would say, "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it." This weekend I had time to actually prepare for this week. Paul was a doll and picked up the groceries for me in between rehearsals and performances. Now I have six crockpot dinners frozen and ready to just be popped in in the mornings. I have time to workout and time to walk Pip. I have time to get my snacks in and read some motivational/why-we-do-what-we-do articles that my fantastic coach printed off for me. Yesterday I ended the day very worried and scared that I wouldn't be able to get back on track and continue making the choices I've started. After my coaching, though, I think that I can. I have 10 days until we leave on vacation. When we go, all bets are off and I'm not worrying about things and am going to just enjoy. However, I'm going to use these 10 days to be super focused. If I look at it as, "I can do anything hard for 10 days," then I think I can do it.
That being said, here are my goals:
1. Blog daily and post to Facebook.
2. Workout three times this week.
3. NO CHIPS
4. NO CANDY. (Now if I make a mini pie or a one-serving cake, that's ok with me. It's the candy that I have no off switch for.)
5. Eat the food I've planned and prepared to eat.
Thanks to those of you who have contacted me to make sure I was doing ok. Part of this whole "going public" thing that I dreaded was failing in such a public way. However, it does motivate me and you all have been so kind and supportive. Thank you for that.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Week Eleven- Monday
Oh boy. It's going to be an interesting next few days.
Today my steps were at 14, 201.
I didn't workout.
Mid-morning I downed an ounce and a half of almonds with an apple.
After school, I ate a small chocolate frosty, a jr. bacon cheeseburger, and a small fry.
In the evening, I ate 2 PB sandwiches, a bowl of chips, and about 10 caramels and 8 mini pieces of twizzlers.
I got about 4-5 glasses of water in.
It's now about midnight and I still haven't finished up everything I needed to do tonight. Body is still achey, but no headaches today and very little nausea thank goodness.
Today my steps were at 14, 201.
I didn't workout.
Mid-morning I downed an ounce and a half of almonds with an apple.
After school, I ate a small chocolate frosty, a jr. bacon cheeseburger, and a small fry.
In the evening, I ate 2 PB sandwiches, a bowl of chips, and about 10 caramels and 8 mini pieces of twizzlers.
I got about 4-5 glasses of water in.
It's now about midnight and I still haven't finished up everything I needed to do tonight. Body is still achey, but no headaches today and very little nausea thank goodness.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Week Eleven
Hi Friends,
Nope, I haven't quit. Life has just hit me pretty hard this past week and I took a little blogging time off. The past few days I've been fighting migraines, nausea, body aches, cramping, and knee pain. Fun stuff. So far, this morning I feel tentatively ok, which is good because I couldn't take the next three days off even if I wanted to. This last week has not been great eating-wise. When left to my own devices, I eat almost straight carbs and dairy- sandwiches, toast, chips, cereal, and cheese. Eating like that has brought back occasional acid reflux that I used to deal with. (Ok- side note- the grammarian in me realizes that I've ended two sentences with prepositions, but I just don't want to rewrite them. I'm laughing at myself for noticing.)
So here's the deal. These next three days are absolutely jam-packed. I think that's also what got me in trouble last week- days at work when I literally don't take any time to eat or recharge. Then I come home so exhausted that I don't want to move off the couch or fix any sort of healthy dinner. Ok- back to this week. Here are the goals that I think will help me through, but first- as I've been writing this, my body is starting to not feel so great. I need to take it a little easy and get myself well again.
1. Get at least two workouts in- three, if possible.
2. (This one's thanks to my coach) Stop and rest twice during the work day for at least 5-10 minutes.
3. I'm going to post my blog daily to Facebook this week. It will get me back in the habit of blogging daily and keep me more accountable.
4. Today put together 4 freezer meals for the week.
5. Instead of focusing on all the ins and outs of the eating guidelines I've been working on, I want to put the focus on eating fruits and vegetables. I'm setting the goal of eating 2 pieces of fruit and three servings of veggies each day. The other things I will fix next week, but for now, I need to change my focus to something simple and manageable.
Onward and upward!
Nope, I haven't quit. Life has just hit me pretty hard this past week and I took a little blogging time off. The past few days I've been fighting migraines, nausea, body aches, cramping, and knee pain. Fun stuff. So far, this morning I feel tentatively ok, which is good because I couldn't take the next three days off even if I wanted to. This last week has not been great eating-wise. When left to my own devices, I eat almost straight carbs and dairy- sandwiches, toast, chips, cereal, and cheese. Eating like that has brought back occasional acid reflux that I used to deal with. (Ok- side note- the grammarian in me realizes that I've ended two sentences with prepositions, but I just don't want to rewrite them. I'm laughing at myself for noticing.)
So here's the deal. These next three days are absolutely jam-packed. I think that's also what got me in trouble last week- days at work when I literally don't take any time to eat or recharge. Then I come home so exhausted that I don't want to move off the couch or fix any sort of healthy dinner. Ok- back to this week. Here are the goals that I think will help me through, but first- as I've been writing this, my body is starting to not feel so great. I need to take it a little easy and get myself well again.
1. Get at least two workouts in- three, if possible.
2. (This one's thanks to my coach) Stop and rest twice during the work day for at least 5-10 minutes.
3. I'm going to post my blog daily to Facebook this week. It will get me back in the habit of blogging daily and keep me more accountable.
4. Today put together 4 freezer meals for the week.
5. Instead of focusing on all the ins and outs of the eating guidelines I've been working on, I want to put the focus on eating fruits and vegetables. I'm setting the goal of eating 2 pieces of fruit and three servings of veggies each day. The other things I will fix next week, but for now, I need to change my focus to something simple and manageable.
Onward and upward!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Resetting and restarting
I'm going to blog now before I get too tired to process things.
I think I have hit a bit of a wall. I always do this about this far into good changes in my health. I don't understand why it takes so long to make a good habit, but takes such a short time to break it. My eating has been going... ok. As usual, late afternoons and evenings are my struggle. I think it's because my days are so jam-packed that if anything out of the ordinary comes up, I never catch up and don't eat until I'm famished, and then I'm grumpy and eat whatever I want. I do have to recognize my small victories. Incredibly hungry yesterday, I made it out of the grocery store with only one treat- a bag of dried apricots, which I ate for a snack last night. For dinner, I stopped at one of our favorite places and picked up a chicken salad instead of the chicken quesadilla that I wanted. Today I ended up at another store at 4ish- trouble time again. This time, I didn't make it out totally unscathed. This may sound strange, but I'm going to count it as a win. I grabbed a box of Crunch and Munch- that stuff I can down in one evening. While waiting at the checkout, candy bars were calling to me. I did some calculating. The box of popcorn/peanuts was over 1,000 calories, but the candy bar I wanted was 450. (I know, I know- it's still a lot). So I switched the box for the candy bar and ate it with less guilt.
Paul was home this afternoon and evening, and where he is, I want to be, so we just chilled and watched some tv together. We'd waited too many days to cook the steak I had planned for dinner, so he ended up with cold chicken, and I had chips and peanut butter sandwiches. Sigh. By the time 6 o'clock rolled around, I still hadn't worked out. I mentioned it to Paul, and he kindly pointed out that it wasn't too late. That was the help I needed. I jumped into my workout clothes, he dropped me off at the gym on his way to his rehearsal, and I WORKED OUT. I did core toning in between my machines, and I am feeling it now. I finished about 3 minutes before they closed and then walked home.
I came home too tired to take Pip for his walk, but I'll do that tomorrow morning before I go in.
Tomorrow, I have a chicken meal ready for the crockpot, and am determined to keep going. My steps have been strong- yesterday, they were 14,669, and today they're at 14,037.
I think I have hit a bit of a wall. I always do this about this far into good changes in my health. I don't understand why it takes so long to make a good habit, but takes such a short time to break it. My eating has been going... ok. As usual, late afternoons and evenings are my struggle. I think it's because my days are so jam-packed that if anything out of the ordinary comes up, I never catch up and don't eat until I'm famished, and then I'm grumpy and eat whatever I want. I do have to recognize my small victories. Incredibly hungry yesterday, I made it out of the grocery store with only one treat- a bag of dried apricots, which I ate for a snack last night. For dinner, I stopped at one of our favorite places and picked up a chicken salad instead of the chicken quesadilla that I wanted. Today I ended up at another store at 4ish- trouble time again. This time, I didn't make it out totally unscathed. This may sound strange, but I'm going to count it as a win. I grabbed a box of Crunch and Munch- that stuff I can down in one evening. While waiting at the checkout, candy bars were calling to me. I did some calculating. The box of popcorn/peanuts was over 1,000 calories, but the candy bar I wanted was 450. (I know, I know- it's still a lot). So I switched the box for the candy bar and ate it with less guilt.
Paul was home this afternoon and evening, and where he is, I want to be, so we just chilled and watched some tv together. We'd waited too many days to cook the steak I had planned for dinner, so he ended up with cold chicken, and I had chips and peanut butter sandwiches. Sigh. By the time 6 o'clock rolled around, I still hadn't worked out. I mentioned it to Paul, and he kindly pointed out that it wasn't too late. That was the help I needed. I jumped into my workout clothes, he dropped me off at the gym on his way to his rehearsal, and I WORKED OUT. I did core toning in between my machines, and I am feeling it now. I finished about 3 minutes before they closed and then walked home.
I came home too tired to take Pip for his walk, but I'll do that tomorrow morning before I go in.
Tomorrow, I have a chicken meal ready for the crockpot, and am determined to keep going. My steps have been strong- yesterday, they were 14,669, and today they're at 14,037.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Week Ten- Monday Restart
Ok. There are a bunch of thoughts running through my head right now. Let's see if I can capture some of them. Last week, I petered out. Living out in Banks has its advantages, but nearby, affordable stores is not one of them. I have to drive 15 minutes each way to a store I like to shop at. That eats up a lot of my evening time. I talked with my coach this morning, and we think the key to success in this journey is preparation. When I don't prepare, it isn't an easy fix for me. I can't just zip down the street and grab something healthy for dinner. So I'm going to focus on this week only. I have a long journey ahead of me, so I'm going to take some baby steps. For this week, my goals are: prepare and post. that's it. I will prepare to succeed and then post my progress. The return and report concept is a big one for me. The first weeks of this journey, I didn't miss a day of posting. Then I got to missing about one day a week. Last week, I think I posted only three times. I'm ready to be accountable again for the choices I'm making. So that's it for now. No big breakdown of last week's goals. I had to move marbles back this morning, but that's ok. I'm going to see if I can get menu planning done this morning before I go and have a shopping list for today after school while I'm already down in that vicinity. This is going to be good.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Week Nine Wednesday, Thursday.
Ok folks, I'm not doing so well... well, I'm not completely bombing it, but I just don't feel very strong right now. Yesterday, I did well until dinner. Even dinner, I had chicken breast with veggies, but then added mashed potatoes and gravy to it and then kept eating all night. Today I didn't eat until lunch, and then had a dinner of a Subway sandwich, which, horror of horrors, wasn't the exact right one that I should have had, and, sin of sins, was on white bread not wheat. I'm just a bit of a raw nerve right now and am not dealing with the eating side of things as I should. I think some of it has to do with the fact that I've been missing a lot of earlier meals and then am famished in the evening. However, for what it's worth, yesterday my steps were at 12, 487, and today they're at 13,762. Huzzah I guess.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Week Nine Tuesday
Today started out with a wonderful workout in wonderful company. I love the ladies I see at Curves at 5:30 am. They make me smile.
I brought breakfast with me to work but today was one of those days where things didn't stop. There was an electrical problem with one of my lights and it nearly caught fire, so I taught my morning classes in the computer lab and did a bunch of running back and forth. I finally was back in my space for lunch, when I ate my morning snack- 3/4 c cottage cheese, 1 cup grapes. After school, I had my lunch of a turkey wrap with 4 oz. turkey, 2 pieces of swiss cheese, and 1/2 of a cucumber. When I got home after acupuncture, I took Pip for a walk and then Paul and I ate some chicken enchiladas for dinner that a friend had brought by the night before. I have such great friends! For dessert, I had 4 pieces of licorice, but stopped there. In the evening, I had an apple with 1.5 TB peanut butter. I had 12 glasses of water today, and - holy cow!- took 16,024 steps today. What's nice is that it didn't feel like that many. It was a great day.
I brought breakfast with me to work but today was one of those days where things didn't stop. There was an electrical problem with one of my lights and it nearly caught fire, so I taught my morning classes in the computer lab and did a bunch of running back and forth. I finally was back in my space for lunch, when I ate my morning snack- 3/4 c cottage cheese, 1 cup grapes. After school, I had my lunch of a turkey wrap with 4 oz. turkey, 2 pieces of swiss cheese, and 1/2 of a cucumber. When I got home after acupuncture, I took Pip for a walk and then Paul and I ate some chicken enchiladas for dinner that a friend had brought by the night before. I have such great friends! For dessert, I had 4 pieces of licorice, but stopped there. In the evening, I had an apple with 1.5 TB peanut butter. I had 12 glasses of water today, and - holy cow!- took 16,024 steps today. What's nice is that it didn't feel like that many. It was a great day.
Week Nine Monday
So like it or not, I still play the numbers game in my head. Going in to this morning's workout, I thought, "Ok. Reasonable weight loss is 2-3 pounds a week. I should have lost about 12 pounds, then." Secretly, I was hoping for about 15. Nope. I am the turtle. Slow and steady for me. I wasn't going to put numbers here, but oh well. I was down 7 pounds- less than two a week. Grrr. After a day to think about it, I can see it for the progress it is, but at the time I was really bummed. I was also down 6.25 inches. Last time I measured, it was significantly more than that. As I looked at my numbers from the last month, the week I dropped 5 pounds on was that first week of the month when I had blown it over the weekend. The weeks I had worked harder, the scale hardly moved. That's why I HATE the scale number game.
So I had a very deliberate food tantrum. I had a McMuffin for breakfast, my almond snack mid-morning, and a healthy turkey wrap for lunch, but then I went to the store where I bought what looked good at the time. I brought home a package of red vines, a box of juju fruits, a king size reeses pb cup thing, a king size butterfinger, and a 9X9 of caramel brownies. Then I stopped at Wendy's and got a jr. bacon cheeseburger, a small fry, and a medium frosty and ate those on the way home. I got home and proceeded to eat junk food and, of course, a peanut butter sandwich thrown in there for good measure. Of course it didn't fill me up, I didn't find the tastes that satisfying, and I eventually stopped. I have some of the two candy bars left and half the package of red vines and didn't touch the brownies. Today I'm taking the brownies to work and putting them on the staff table (sorry, friends at Patterson). I am dividing what's left of the other sweets into baggies and am going to have one per day instead of having sweets spread out through the day (thanks, Meshell).
The evening ended with Paul making tacos- I had one large one, and then I had a ton of water. I think I had about 12 glasses yesterday. During the evening, I worked on my upstairs craft room that still had boxes in it and then started repainting a welcome sign for the front door. My steps for the day were at 14, 210.
I didn't work out or take Pip for a walk, but will Tuesday. My coach emailed me later with results that didn't show up on the computer at the time of our appointment. In the last month, I lost 5.21 pounds of fat. I think of pictures I've seen of fat and to think that I'm carrying around 5 pounds less of that stuff makes me really happy. On I go!
So I had a very deliberate food tantrum. I had a McMuffin for breakfast, my almond snack mid-morning, and a healthy turkey wrap for lunch, but then I went to the store where I bought what looked good at the time. I brought home a package of red vines, a box of juju fruits, a king size reeses pb cup thing, a king size butterfinger, and a 9X9 of caramel brownies. Then I stopped at Wendy's and got a jr. bacon cheeseburger, a small fry, and a medium frosty and ate those on the way home. I got home and proceeded to eat junk food and, of course, a peanut butter sandwich thrown in there for good measure. Of course it didn't fill me up, I didn't find the tastes that satisfying, and I eventually stopped. I have some of the two candy bars left and half the package of red vines and didn't touch the brownies. Today I'm taking the brownies to work and putting them on the staff table (sorry, friends at Patterson). I am dividing what's left of the other sweets into baggies and am going to have one per day instead of having sweets spread out through the day (thanks, Meshell).
The evening ended with Paul making tacos- I had one large one, and then I had a ton of water. I think I had about 12 glasses yesterday. During the evening, I worked on my upstairs craft room that still had boxes in it and then started repainting a welcome sign for the front door. My steps for the day were at 14, 210.
I didn't work out or take Pip for a walk, but will Tuesday. My coach emailed me later with results that didn't show up on the computer at the time of our appointment. In the last month, I lost 5.21 pounds of fat. I think of pictures I've seen of fat and to think that I'm carrying around 5 pounds less of that stuff makes me really happy. On I go!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Week Eight Sunday
I zipped out of the house for church this morning before getting a chance to eat or tuck something in my bag. I was definitely needing food by the time I got home. I found these really good tortillas with 12 g. of fiber in them and had a turkey wrap with lettuce, 2 pieces of cheddar cheese and a wedge of skinny cow cream cheese. It was really good. For a snack, I had an apple with 1.5 TB peanut butter and 1/3 of a cucumber. I had another mini-meal of 4 oreos and a cup of potato chips. For dinner, I made beef stroganoff and had a half a bag of steamed veggies with it.
It's been another week, so it's time to review my goals:
1. 9,500 steps six days of the seven.
2. Plan and prepare 5 healthy evening meals.
3. Get three workouts in with the added three machines.
4. Stick to my eating guidelines
a. Drink 8 glasses of water or more a day
b. Only 1-2 processed foods/day
c. Keep my body fueled by eating five small meals/day.
Results:
1. Monday- 15, 454, Tuesday 11,909, Wed.- 11,478, Thurs. abt. 7000, F- 4018, S- 8502
2. Monday- Yes!, Tuesday Yes!, Wed- Yes!, Thurs- nope., Fri- nope, S- Yes! Sun- Yes!
3. Yep! (M, W, Sat.)
4. a. M- Yes! T- Yes! W- Yes!, Th- Yes!, Fr- Nope, Sat- Yes!, Sun- nope
b. M- Yes! (Triscuits and fruit parfait),
Tuesday- Nope. (McMuffin bun, Triscuits, candy),
Wed.- Nope. (McMuffin bun, mini candy bars, 2 cinnamon rolls),
Th- nope,
Friday- Nope
Sat- Yes!
Sun- Yes!
c. M- Yes! T- Nope. Only got 4 in., W- Yes!, Th- nope, F- nope, Sat- Yes!, Sun- nope
Analysis:
1. Average of 9,726 steps Monday-Saturday. Yay!
2. I met this one!!! Five of the seven nights we had a balanced dinner.
3. Yep! I did this one really well- I added 3 more machines to my workout, so now I'm up to 2.5 circuits. I also did core toning in between machines 2 of the 3 workouts.
4. a. Water is doing well- I got my 8 glasses in 5 of the 7 days.
b. Staying away from processed foods is still a challenge from me, but I'm doing much better at it.
c. While I didn't get in 5 small meals, I did get 4-5 in 6 of the 7 days.
Tomorrow's my monthly weigh and measure. I'm excited about it- trying not to hope for certain numbers. I need to keep the focus on the whole picture and all the benefits. However, it is nice to look forward to a coaching session knowing I can expect results because I've taken steps. It's not hoping that I magically lost pounds or inches without doing the work.
It's been another week, so it's time to review my goals:
1. 9,500 steps six days of the seven.
2. Plan and prepare 5 healthy evening meals.
3. Get three workouts in with the added three machines.
4. Stick to my eating guidelines
a. Drink 8 glasses of water or more a day
b. Only 1-2 processed foods/day
c. Keep my body fueled by eating five small meals/day.
Results:
1. Monday- 15, 454, Tuesday 11,909, Wed.- 11,478, Thurs. abt. 7000, F- 4018, S- 8502
2. Monday- Yes!, Tuesday Yes!, Wed- Yes!, Thurs- nope., Fri- nope, S- Yes! Sun- Yes!
3. Yep! (M, W, Sat.)
4. a. M- Yes! T- Yes! W- Yes!, Th- Yes!, Fr- Nope, Sat- Yes!, Sun- nope
b. M- Yes! (Triscuits and fruit parfait),
Tuesday- Nope. (McMuffin bun, Triscuits, candy),
Wed.- Nope. (McMuffin bun, mini candy bars, 2 cinnamon rolls),
Th- nope,
Friday- Nope
Sat- Yes!
Sun- Yes!
c. M- Yes! T- Nope. Only got 4 in., W- Yes!, Th- nope, F- nope, Sat- Yes!, Sun- nope
Analysis:
1. Average of 9,726 steps Monday-Saturday. Yay!
2. I met this one!!! Five of the seven nights we had a balanced dinner.
3. Yep! I did this one really well- I added 3 more machines to my workout, so now I'm up to 2.5 circuits. I also did core toning in between machines 2 of the 3 workouts.
4. a. Water is doing well- I got my 8 glasses in 5 of the 7 days.
b. Staying away from processed foods is still a challenge from me, but I'm doing much better at it.
c. While I didn't get in 5 small meals, I did get 4-5 in 6 of the 7 days.
Tomorrow's my monthly weigh and measure. I'm excited about it- trying not to hope for certain numbers. I need to keep the focus on the whole picture and all the benefits. However, it is nice to look forward to a coaching session knowing I can expect results because I've taken steps. It's not hoping that I magically lost pounds or inches without doing the work.
This is a picture from today. I haven't worn this dress in a while because it's gotten too tight. Even before when I did wear it, I wore a minimizer underneath it. Today I was able to wear it and feel comfortable in it without the extra help. Fun stuff.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Week Eight Saturday
Today went much better.
Though tired, I convinced myself to workout first thing in the morning. The trainer who teaches the toning routines on the recovery stations was there, so I did a lot of core toning in between the machines, and I added 6 again so I did 2.5 circuits. I did a lot of cleaning, took Pip to the dog park, cut down a bush in the front yard and ended up with 8,502 steps for the day. That's a busy Saturday for me.
Breakfast: 2 pieces whole wheat toast, 1.5 TB peanut butter, 3/4 cup cottage cheese
Lunch: 4 oz. chicken, 2 slices swiss cheese
Afternoon snack: 1 oz almonds, 1 apple, 1 slice string cheese
Dinner: 6 oz. steak, 1.5 cups mixed veggies, 1/2 peanut butter sandwich, 2 pieces wheat bread, 1 TB butter
Evening snack: bag of microwave popcorn. I thought the bag I grabbed was the light stuff, but it wasn't. Still, it wasn't too bad.
Though tired, I convinced myself to workout first thing in the morning. The trainer who teaches the toning routines on the recovery stations was there, so I did a lot of core toning in between the machines, and I added 6 again so I did 2.5 circuits. I did a lot of cleaning, took Pip to the dog park, cut down a bush in the front yard and ended up with 8,502 steps for the day. That's a busy Saturday for me.
Breakfast: 2 pieces whole wheat toast, 1.5 TB peanut butter, 3/4 cup cottage cheese
Lunch: 4 oz. chicken, 2 slices swiss cheese
Afternoon snack: 1 oz almonds, 1 apple, 1 slice string cheese
Dinner: 6 oz. steak, 1.5 cups mixed veggies, 1/2 peanut butter sandwich, 2 pieces wheat bread, 1 TB butter
Evening snack: bag of microwave popcorn. I thought the bag I grabbed was the light stuff, but it wasn't. Still, it wasn't too bad.
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